YO ELIJE PODER

Gymnasio Survival Vocabulary
I CHOOSE POWER - This is the clever motivational phrase that is plastered on the gym mirror. But to be honest, sometimes I feel like this poster is mocking me, I don't really feel that powerful!
Exercising in public is never really that pleasant. I prefer to have some anonymity while putting my body through its paces; tripping over my two left feet, dripping pools of sweat and gasping for air, its generally not a pretty sight. But anonymity is not really on the cards, my mere appearance screams "gringa" (which in Chile is not a word with derogative connotations like in other South American countries). Even without opening my mouth or falling over the step, I stick out for being particularly rubio, fair, and while many Chilean are also rubio nobody else in the class seems to turn that same shade of deep red/purple that I do! How I envy that moreno look with gorgeous olive, tanned skin!
And, I have the distinct disadvantage of not actually understanding the instructions. In my defence. this is not just a simple vocabulary problem, the blaring music and the sound of my heart pounding in my ears doesn't exactly help my comprehension. Frequently, my language learning skills revert to 'monkey see, monkey do'.
But I am persisting, determined to bust through those layers of pain and confusion and I am finally beginning to decipher some sense from amongst the chaos. Seriously, I have come to the conclusion that sometimes the instructor doesn't mean what he says. There is a definitely a difference between literal translation and contextual translation. I have collected here some key vocabulary and phrases that had I known earlier might have avoided some embarrassment and frustration.

uno, dos tres, cuatro cinco... ocho -one, two three four, five...eight- yep pretty straight forward - however a gym instructors idea of ocho is a little like the Chilean version of 'on time', ie. an extra 20!
Arriba, abajo, atras, adalente, = up, down, front, back - yea but try doing that quickly and repeatedly while standing on one foot, with a change in sequence and direction with seemingly no warning!
Tres y uno = don't be fooled! While this sound identical to desayuno, (breakfast) it is referring to three stomach crunches up and one down.
Ay, ay = ouch ouch - (very handy and self explanatory)
Nada mas = nothing more (one might think this would be music to my ears but no, it also means repeat only this exercise until further notice!)
Vamos = let's go (yes Im thinking lets go... but in this context it means, come on, move it!)
Otra vez = again (seriously?)
Ultima vez = last time (what ever that's what he said last time!)
Doble = can mean twice as fast or twice as many, something more specific might help the gringa girl to keep in sync!
Concentrarte = Concentrate yourself ( this is a favorite for the Spinning instructor, given that pedalling a stationary bike is not that complicated, I assume she means concentrate on not throwing up, since that what I usually feel like doing in her classes!)
Apliquete = Apply yourself (now that's a goodie that can be applied in all areas of life!)
Hombres, Mujeres Men, Women two simple words which had they been written on the newly renovated bathrooms would have avoided devastating embarrassment. Needless to say I won't be showering at the gym again, the water is cold anyway!

Now I just need to find thee Spanish equivalent for Drama Queen and I think I could describe myself quite accurately!!